#1,116 Days: 无言

到朋友家里小聚, 聊得很开心..

突然, 他指着我说:" 不要一直说别人, 说说你吧!"

我看着他, 无言..

往事有如云烟, 烟消云散的时候, 就让它随风飘去......

再回顾, 心冷;
再回顾, 心颤;
再回顾, 心僵;
再回顾, 心死!

四回顾,有如陌路人...人生啊!就是如此, 无数的过客. 过客啊,过客！

#1,120 days: Aftershock

昨晚，看了大地震，一部非常感人的电影，我感动的泪流不断。戏述在1976年，发生于唐山的地震；24万人命丧于灾难之中。一母亲面临人生最重要的选择，龙凤胎被压于石板下，两个只能活一个，怎么选呢？手心与手掌都是肉。

母亲选了弟弟，而姐姐清醒地听着母亲的选择，听在耳中，刻在心里。

在戏里,母亲说的一句话令我印象深刻:"没有了才知道真的没有了". 当没有失去，没有悲伤，没落泪的时候，我们不能体会“没有”那烙印的痛，也不知道原来“现在这样已经很幸福了！”

写这篇的时候，另我想起外婆去世的情景，痛失母亲的妈妈非常伤心，我劝她吃饭，她不动，泪流饭粒，只对我说了一句话：“我嫁的太早，陪伴她的时间太短了！”妈妈那时候也深深地体会到"没有了才知道真的没有了"吧！

前些日子的功课是“耐心”。 最近，上帝似乎要教导我“惜福”，只因他不断地让我觉得自己的生活充满着爱。对！现在这样我已经觉得很幸福了！:)

Chapter 1：Patience “耐心”
Chapter 2: Appreciate “惜福”

感恩

#1,122 days: My Son, Javkhaa :-D

I have a 2 years old son now. His name is Javkhaa. Very very cute. I contribute a little every month, not a big money, but I do hope that it helps him to improve his life a little bit.

When you wish to be loved, you need to take the first move to love people. Life without love is emptiness; Fill your life up with love, all kinds of LOVE. I know many who like to complaint about their life. About financial, betray, selfishness, lack of love and etc. Thus, some of them told me how struggle they are in their life. However, I think all these are nothing compared to people who struggles to have BASIC needs of their life, such as food, water, home and etc. Some little kids do not have chance to have education. Living in such a "hope for help" environment, they dun even dare to have desire. How sad :(

Compared to people like them, God has given us a very good life. We should be grateful to have such life and should live without complain. Take your first move to love people, you may start to feel the inner happiness which can never be satisfied by materials. I APPRECIATE from the bottom of my heart.

Inspiration given from seeing my little Javkhaa:
- APPRECIATE what I have now. This is fruit from God and who knows it may disappears tomorrow;

- Learn to LOVE. Share my love where necessary, to whom needs help.

My dear Lord, may wish you take care of people who needs your love, do take care of my little Javkhaa too. I hope he can grows up happily with your blessing.

God bless

#1,124 days: 你的祝福

今天是这一年最开心的一天。

我找到新工作了！你真的很棒！你让这一切发生，完成于三天，快的让我觉得难以相信。

可是，我不存怀疑，因只有你才能把不可能的变成可能。

感恩！

不举白旗

我有一很亲的人,最近中风了. 他儿子让我常给他爸聊聊天,开导他. 大人,你真该死,总是那么的粗心大意,应该自动自发地付出, 我从明天开始,一定会常给他打电话. 我了解至亲的心情; 当了几十年的铁汉,从小就担起家庭负担,与母亲一起照顾一群弟弟妹妹,无论再困难,也有他撑着的样子.突然,铁汉没有了,只剩倒水也需要人帮一把的老人.对自己的生活变得无能为力,那感觉真的很不是味道.

除了支体上的无奈,心里还惦记着最爱的子女受委屈. 每每听见妈妈传达至亲的所思所想,我总替他觉得心疼!我好想帮他解决他所有的困难,可是我的能力那么的薄弱,我只能耐心的陪他聊天,和为他们家祷告,愿全能的上帝施于无限的祝福.

不要因暂时的失意或失败而高举你的白旗. 永远不要!不轻言放弃, 特别是你的人生.要坚持,要相信!我相信我的信仰,所以除了尽所有的力量把事情做好,结果交给上帝! 他会把最适合的安排给我.

我的同事对我说他也不断地祷告能够得到新的工作,他说他对上帝这样说:" Please open a door for me, but if it is not my door, please shut it for me". 我问他为什么呢?他说他年纪不小了,不想再做错误的选择.他情愿耐心等待,也不愿冲动地选择非他之物.

所以,如果在读这篇的读者,我希望引用我同事的一句话,上帝把你那扇门关上,因那不是属于你的门; 他一定会为你开另一扇,一扇属于你的门,请你耐心等待. 在等待的同时,也要好好享受你的每一天;无论是酸的,甜的,苦的,辣的.都要惜福,因为你留在世上的每一天都是福气,上帝给你的福气.

若你不是与我持着同一信仰,我没有游说你相信上帝,就把我爱的上帝想成你所相信的,也可以.

当然,若你因读我小小的分享,而感觉到上帝的爱,请让我知道,我会很开心.因为你将会是大人传福音的处女作. 我开工了!福音工(大笑)

不要"惆";
不要"忧";
不要"唉";
不要"哭";
只要"嘻";
只要"乐";
只要"哈"；
只要"笑"。

#1,125 days: Medical check up

Have been requested by a company to perform a medical check up. Well, my appointment was at 10:10am. However, I had to wait until 12:00 noon for my turn. As this happened, I really cannot see the point of scheduling appointment.

There was a guy sitting opposite to me in the waiting hall. He came in later than me. While we were waiting, i could feel he started to lose his patience every 5 mins of waiting for his turn. I am so glad that I did not feel frustrating or unhappy at all though people who came in later than me have the priority to see their doctor. Thanks God for the good training provided to build up my patience level.

I was anxious when the assistant told me that she was going to take my urine for drug and ALCOHOL test. As soon as i heard ALCOHOL test, i am stressed and asked :"How many glasses per week will fail this test?" The assistant smiles and said :"You will be fine if you did not drink within 24 hrs before this test". (phew!~ all tense gone :-P)

How can I cut down in drinking while colleagues and close friends are all good drinkers? Well, I can only say is daddy's fault. Drinking habit inherited from Daddy. LoL

Besides that, the assistant said she supposes to watch me "pee". I was shocked and shown her a reluctant face. Then, she said :"is ok. Half close the door and you do it behind." ROFL..so many funny incidents today.

Well, thanks God once again for everything ran smooth. :)

#1,127 days: Cass Chan, Happy Birthday to you!

To my dearest friend, Cass Chan. Happy Birthday to you!

May your birthday bring
You as much happiness
As you give to everyone
Who knows you

Happy Birthday

Love and may God bless you everyday! Muakss

#1,132 days: Take a Break

今天有一好友对我说他事事不顺，所实行的事都不向前。噢！我也有同感，有时，会觉得有些无奈。可是，我确没有对他说我也有同感，我不想两个人互相诉苦，感觉更不好。所以，我对他说了我“忍”的小智慧； 对他说的同时，也提醒自己。

之后，他对我说：“对！好的东西是值得等待的”。

大人，我只给你懊恼五分钟！你只有五分钟的机会。。懊恼！懊恼！懊恼！懊恼！！！！！！！ （笑）

#1,133 days: 忍

今天的心情有少许烦躁，先是报表改了又改，还要把问题挑出来，见几个不同的人确认再确认，才能做决定。之后，打给一猎头，打了，留言，再打，再留言，还接不上她。在最忙的时候，红十字会打来，和我确认资料，预约时间捐血；真想不到，要做好事也那么麻烦。花了我15-20分钟，才把事情安排好，还要排至8月中才有位子捐血。

有几度, 不耐烦的语气与表情几乎忍不住显露出来，都让我憋住了！大人，你太棒了！给你加分。。;)

大人啊！你知道吗？“好”的东西都需要耐心等待。 报表用心才不会出错；找工作，急不来，好物沉底；做好事，从心而发，也应该好好安排。急不了！急不了！

当你很“急”，很烦躁的时候，让自己停一停，闭上眼睛，深呼吸十次，会好很多。

今天红十字会的人在挂电的时候，不断地说:"Thank you very much! We appreciate your time to speak to us and we are very happy for you to join us as a new donor". 我看不见她的样子，可是感觉到她说谢谢的诚意。我突然庆幸我没有向她表现的不耐烦，而且很有礼貌的回她 :"Yes. I think is a good thing to donate my blood for people who needs it. Thank you"

原来，有时候只要忍一忍，结果是意想不到的。。。“好”。。

感恩

#1,136 days: Gifted

Ready to GIVE and to be GIFTED?

Yes I Do. Amen

God bless!

#1,137 Days: Mattress

Finally, I bought my Queen size mattress today. Learnt how to pick a suitable mattress for myself. All these years, I love to sleep on firm mattress, but eventually not the firmest mattress is the best or suitable for yourself.

How to check whether it is suitable for you?

[When you lie down at your back or side on your bed, check whether there is arch between your body and mattress. If there is, that's meant your mattress cannot provides full support to your body.]

Well, I am lucky. The cheaper mattress suits me better than the mattress with higher price. haha

Do you have a good mattress? Check it out!

#1,138 Days: Full of LOVE

最近，心情真的异常的开心，活着的每一天都好像在热恋中。（笑）

郑秀文的一篇访问，另我感动！上帝的爱真的很棒！竟然能让人脱胎换骨，你让我感觉我越来越接近你。你的使者不断地把你的话传到我这里，不断地令我感动！你的爱满满地洋溢于我体内，令我过的每一天都那么地满足；原来，只有你的爱才能把我的“空洞”添满。郑秀文的访问在这里

今天读了Jaeson的一篇文章，这是重点：

[生命有時是不能解釋，不能預計，甚至不能期待，我們不知道明天會否出現，若我們昨天做不到的，我們便要好好利用今天；我們要盡最大的努力去做每一件事。坦白說，我不知道自己有沒有機會活到九十歲，過着兒孫滿堂的日子，我希望我能夠預測未來，我希望我能夠經歷自己夢中追求的，如婚姻、家庭生活等。但甚麼叫好生活呢？我不認為生命只在乎長短，充實與否反而取決於我們怎樣過每一天。我喜愛今天嗎？我今天做了我認為對的事嗎？我今天有幫過有需要的人嗎？我今天有傾聽別人嗎？我有奉獻今天給神嗎？我有沒有好好享受神給我的每一分每一秒呢？無論遇到的是我家人、朋友，或是在超級市場內碰到的陌生人，我們有活在當下嗎？我們要知道生命短暫，今天我們活着，明天我們已經可能不在人世；我們不知道自己可以得到甚麼，活着就是喜悅，我們要好好珍惜每一分每一秒。

很多人埋怨上天給他們的生命，有些人出身富裕，有些人卻成長在惡劣的環境；但對我而言，我們的出生與成長背景都不重要，最重要是我們能夠成為甚麼，我們能夠在人生旅途上學到甚麼使自己的生命變得更有意義、更偉大。]

全文在这里

我的今天，很有意义，因为上帝给了我勇气，让我决定捐血。一直以来，最怕抽血的我，竟然邀朋友一起去捐血；大人，你太勇敢了！（笑）

捐血日，就订在下星期！谢谢恿跃应邀的朋友！上帝祝福你们！

感恩

时光机

今天，一好友在facebook放了这样的问题 "如果眼前有一部时光机, 你会怎么用?" 我好想回答他这问题，可是想了十分钟，没有答案！

其实我可以答：“回到过去，抓紧投机的关键时刻另自己变成小富婆”；可是，我却没有这样写，或许，这并不是我最想要的。过去或许有太多令我值得反省的教材，我不想去改变自己的过去； 有着过去，才能令我更珍惜未来；我在我的过去中成长。

我有一友，她很幸运地认识了他现在的丈夫，育有三个小孩，在她的世界里，所有的事情都是那么的理所当然，那么的得心应手。她不知道，她的幸福是多么的“可贵”，因为当我告诉她我羡慕她能有三个宝宝，她却不认同那是值得羡慕的事情。 她问我道：“你有心痒痒要结交新男友吗？”我回说：“这一刻，我不想！”她却用很怀疑的口吻问我：“真的吗？”我沉默。

我想，我现在的心情与想法，并不是三言两语可以令人了解。对没有身经厉练的人，更是摸不清我的底子！我享受现在这样子。没有压力，没有负担，只有一心一意的往目标走；不再往混水里打滚。 要再重新去认识一个陌生人，甜蜜，争吵，了解，适应，迁就，让步，忍，再互相建立信心，那是非常难挨的过程。我不想！更不想再去经历那感情失败的创伤，那休复的过程真的好难熬！

我在朋友那里听说了这样的一句话：“过去的不能回头，未来的一起绸缪”； 非常有意义。我不晓得我的未来会如何，可是我不想轻言放弃；不放弃我们那多年的感情，是“爱”也好；是“感情”也好；是“习惯”也好；是什么都好，不轻言放弃！

时光机？你需要吗？我的人生没有遗憾，我那人生的书，每一页都那么的精彩，纵使是伤心失落的，失败倒霉的，也是值得回忆的一页！记得我的每一页，更珍惜以后的每一天。。

#1,139 Days: Recruitment Agent

I will go to meet a recruitment agent an hour later. Well, I met a few recruitment agents since I start my job hunt progress, but none of them get me a good opportunity.

It is raining cats and dogs here and weather forecast stated that we gonna have thunderstorm in this evening. I am worried now. Why all these happened on today? :(

"My dear Lord, please help me! I pray that the journey to meet this recruitment agent will be smooth and i will be safe to drive in heavy rain. Lord, I pray that this recruitment agent can help me in my job search. I pray that she can refers me a very good position which i am looking for. In Jesus's name. Amen"

Quote from pastor Jaeson Ma: "When things get frustrating, they don’t go your way, you lose your patience, figure out a way to re direct your frustration to something positive and friendly …. turn negatives into positives!"

Cool..I feel better now..:)

God Bless

#1,140 days: Message to Mother

Think of my mum at this hour. So, I sms her like this:

"My dearest Mummy, how are you doing this week? Think of you in the middle of work. Miss you! I baby sit Stella over the weekend. Realized that it is not easy to take care of kids. Mum..You are so great! Love you always!"

I never expressed my strong feeling towards my family like this before. I started to do it recently. Started to tell them how much I miss them. Started to tell them how much I love them. I did even give a big hug and kiss to my mum when I left home. I tell ya. That's the warmest hug I had. It is not simply a hug of my body, but my heart too.

"You never tell, they never know". For those who is reading my blog, if you never tell your parent that you love them. Please do it now! Life is too short to have regret for not telling your parent at least ONCE that you love them very much too.

Daddy and Mummy, I LOVE YOU!! God bless :D

倒数1,142天

设定一重要的目标，从今天到1,142天，我都要过的那么的开心与充满希望。

在这目标诞生的同时，坏思绪与“负”能量也正式被淘汰出局。

上帝，你真的太棒了！

今天有陳奕迅 - 淘汰

Weekend was too short

Is Monday again! My weekend was too short. I was being real good last weekend. No alcohol, no unhealthy supper and no late night. I spent my days and nights at Benny's place to take care of his baby Stella and enjoyed family moment.

I love family time now. Oh perhaps we enjoy family time when we grow. Yes I admit it! I think i need a family now.

富士山下

很久没有分享歌曲了，这是一首曾经爱听的歌。

你有过这样的感觉吗？听见某首熟悉的歌，会另你脑海涌入一片又一片的回忆，无论是悲伤的或快乐的。庆幸的是在听这首歌的时候，没有回忆，只是很单纯的觉得这首歌很好听。。

富士山下，应该是很美吧？可是为什么是那么伤感的歌呢？我的富士山下，是一片很美的樱花林，树上满是粉红色的樱花，很美，很美。。娃娃在地上捡了一朵落花：“宝贝，送你一朵樱花”。。。。

娃娃，你可以带我去富士山吗？ （求求你。。 呵呵。。）